THE OTHER'S VIEW

 As humans we have various factors that shape our perception. It ranges from family background, environment, books read, things seen and experienced to our friends. In every topic, no matter how popular a particular view is, there is always a minority that disagrees with the popular view.

If everyone had the same views then we’d never have arguments and discussions as we all try to push our view as the right view.

  Yes, we humans love our views and to most their views are right. Arguments and discussions are a great way to learn and discover how people reason or what they think about things. 

Ok, I always love stories, so here’s a brief one;

               

Stella and Janet chew on their popcorn as they continue their gist about Tolu’s wedding. Immediately, Janet’s phone beeps. She takes a look at it and laughs.

‘Babe, na wetin na?’ Stella asks, curious.

Janet still laughing reads it out;

‘You and your man are walking down the street and a stranger taps your bum. Ladies what would you want your man to do? Fellas, what would you do?’

‘Oya na , Janet what do you want Femi to do?’

‘Defend me as my man, of course.’ Janet shouts excitedly.

‘As for me, I’ll definitely turn back and punch the guy.’ Stella says, mouth filled with popcorn.

‘Stella, what are you saying?  That’s what your man is for.’ Janet’s eyes nearly pop out in disbelief.

‘It’s more of a reflex action. I didn’t learn karate for nothing.’

Janet drops the popcorn in her hand back into the bowl slightly offended. ‘What then is your man there for? You have to wait for him to make a move first. If he doesn’t then you do.’

‘Like I said, I’ll punch him out of reflex.’

Janet adjusts on the seat. ‘That’s the problem with you. You’re a woman. Your man’s role is to protect you not yours.’

Stella looks at Janet confused. ‘That’s what I’d do. You’re Janet, I’m Stella.’

‘The way you reason is not good. So if you have a man in the house, you’ll go and carry your gen and put it on? Act like the woman that you are. That’s what any woman would do, let him defend her.’ Janet’s voice rose.

‘How’s that working out for them?’ Stella retorts.

‘Stella, why you taking it personal?’

‘Janet, it’s what I, Stella would do.’

‘It’s wrong!! Your reasoning is weird. It’s not good.’  Janet responds in full combatant mode.

  Ok, I’ll end it there.  It’s very easy for a discussion to turn from an exchange of views into a trial of character with; ‘That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard? ‘, ‘who reasons like this?’, ‘what planet are you from?’, ‘that’s the problem with you?’, ‘you need to change your reasoning.’ I could go on and on. It turns into disrespect of not just views but of the person with the views. Even if we’re certain that the person’s views are wrong and can be damaging to them, we can tell or show them without disrespecting them.

  We also forget that people have a choice of keeping their views to themselves but they made a decision to share it with us. That is enough reason not to disrespect them. If they didn’t share you wouldn’t know to put them on trial for it.

  Let me not even go into how some people who feel they are grand guardians of the Bible, Quran, society, etc talk to and treat those they feel are stepping outside what they feel is right. There are better ways of doing things, really.

  I know a dude that dropped a friend because every time a discussion came up, the friend made him feel like there was something wrong with him, he got tired. I don’t blame the guy. If you can’t air your views freely to friends who can you air them to?

  Be they friend, acquaintance, foe, you should treat their views how you’d like yours treated, no disrespect to self. Unless it’s your nine year old daughter telling you there’s nothing wrong with her having sex and getting an abortion. Lol! Cheers!