WHAT IS LOVE AND WHY DOES IT END

Ever heard that sentence ‘Everything was so perfect in the beginning.’?

  In the beginning everything is very rosy. You meet this person and stars erupt, this person becomes a mystery. The way they smile, laugh, tilt their head is very exciting to you. You get butterflies in your tummy and when they hold your hand, the chemistry is amazing. You go on dates, hangouts and it’s all pretty amazing. You wish it would never end. Something is wrong here that you will hate later, in this few weeks of euphoria you call love which is just the 'in love' state you haven’t noticed certain characters about this person. You see it but your euphoria covers it up.

  Few months into the relationship, the real character which by the way was never hidden from you but you only needed time to see starts showing up.  Now you begin to get irritated and that beautiful love is no more love. That mysterious angel is no more mysterious but a real person, an actual person with flaws. This is where love ends for most people. When that feeling of euphoria ends most people walk out on the relationship and claim lots of stuff. The movies have shown that only the euphoria stage exists.  Scientists and psychologists have proven and shown that this stage is normal because in your brain, activities are returning to normal and clarity becomes restored. It doesn’t mean all those beautiful things you saw were lies, they still exist but your brain doesn’t heighten them anymore.

  Most people bounce when this happens and the complaints begin. He does this, she does this, said that and on it goes. This happens when you go in believing the other person must be perfect and just going with the flow. You haven’t made a decision you just believe it would never end. You’re not perfect so how can another human being be.

  People bring up the story of Romeo and Juliet. They weren’t in love if you ask me. They were obsessed. They hadn’t spent time together at all, except for stolen forbidden moments which to any teenager would be pretty exciting. I can just imagine them staying alive and being together. Their relationship would end in months.

  Love, I believe lasts when your eyes are open. You see all the flaws and imperfections in that person, which is the next stage after the euphoria that most people never, get to. Euphoria can last for two years even and then you hear "They were married for just two years and got divorced."

  If you open your mind to it that this person is not perfect, and accept the person the way they are and you both build each other up together, now, that’s love. Love is a choice. You say out of the billions of folks in the world and your many faults, I still choose you. I want you as you are, I can live with those faults and still love you. That’s not stupidity, that’s love, real love because you have been friends, you understand this person and have decided to learn more of each other, grow and stay together no matter what. Ermm, not when it’s detrimental to your health.

  Love is not just a feeling but a commitment and a decision and not magic that just whips up out of the blues. This person can make you smile and make you angry in a minute but you don’t give up on them and say, you are meant to be happy every minute for it to be termed love.

  Most people are in love with the feeling of being in love that’s why when that feeling ends, they walk away. When you are in love, it is the person whom you see clearly in all their glory and messed up state that you are in love with. When they do things you don’t like, you talk to them about it and still stay. This love is mutual. You know your faults and strengths. Life isn’t perfect and you are not, don’t expect another to be. Don’t think this person wipes your faults away. Love makes you want to be better for this person who sees all these faults and still stays with you. That’s why when you see a young lady in the office that wants you; you remember your choice and that person that really knows you and you fight it. This choice makes you decide not to be emotionally in love with that man that shows you attention you are lacking from your partner.

   You don't think you are in love, you know you are in love. You don't say "I don't want to love you." "I fell out of love." "I don't love you anymore." You were never in love in the first place. Love is an action and not just pretty words you say because you think it's what you have to say or what the other person needs to hear. You don't even say it until you are sure you're in for the long haul. You don't say it and then give up and walk away and move on to love someone else. That is not love but a bastardization of love, an infatuation. When you love, you don't hit your wife, you don't cheat on her or belittle her. When you love, you treat them and fight for them the way you want to be treated and fought for. You act it and not just say it. You stay and prove it.

   Real love to me is communication, acceptance and friendship. You see the full picture, the future scares you for it's uncertain and you still want in. Most times people wouldn’t understand why you love this person. They believe because society has made it so that love has to be rosy all the time and perfect. Well, even serial killers had people that loved them. What you’d love would be different from what I’d love so who am I to say you shouldn’t love the person that makes you happy, supports  and accepts you with all your craziness. Don't say the word until you're sure and you can act it and keep your word and defend it.
   Love is like a seed you plant. It struggles to break the surface, it shoots up and survives the elements such as misunderstandings, doubts, separations, insecurities and so many problems as it grows and weathers life and grows into a tall strong tree. That's love. It doesn't happen overnight, it's not a one person thing. It's the surviving of all the problems that makes it true. If you abandon it and give up it never becomes true because love isn't just a good happy feeling. 

  God defined love best through his disciple in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, "Love is patient and kind; Love is not jealous or boastful; It is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way(selfish); It is not irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." 

  Thank you for reading my thoughts. What are yours?